2 words. I’m scared.

I’m scared to lose you. I’m scared to be hurt again. After months of being together, the fear of losing you gets bigger and bigger. I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way. I should think positive of our future together. But it’s hard. Especially after that sudden msg u sent me. You should know what I mean. It really caught me off guard. I didn’t expect you to say that. After much heart-to-heart talk, you managed to ‘calm’ me down. Somehow. I think.

It’s been sometime since our last ‘moment of truth’. This time, it’s me who speak up. It’s not the best of time to spurt everything out. But I think I just need to let it all out before it ‘explodes’ inside me. To tell the truth, this is the first time that I don’t bottle all of it inside of me. My friends who know me well should know that. So, it’s a first for me. But to dump everything to you, it’s unfair to you. And for that, I feel guilty. I’m sorry honey baby. I really do. Please don’t blame yourself about this ok? I don’t want you to feel “useless, breathless, sucky”.