im supposed to be studyin right now. but i cant. my mind is whirling arnd n nth can go in..

i've been thinkin abt what my cuzin said yest. ive told her abt my situation as i cannt suppress it anymore. she was shocked at what happen to me. she nvr tot tis cld happen but it did happen. wen i told her, i was desperately tryin not to cry. i juz told her the important parts as i dun hav the time to tell the whole thing. she understand what im feelin n told me what she wld do if she were in my shoes. she said she wld 'break' the frenship wif you. but i know i cant do tt. she oso mention a couple of things that made me think oso. what she said is really true...

i really treasure everything you hav done for me. everything tt we hav shared for the past months. you've been there for me wen i need you. but i noe tt i've not been there wen you need me. mayb it is really my fault for things to turn out tis way??

den wen my mum suddenly mention your name, i juz ignore her n juz listen to tt one song. mayb she thinks we are still close frens like the past. i dun wan to tell her abt the strain relationship i am goin thru. dun tink she will understand anyway.

btw, i've decide not to study at downtown today. im scared that it will bring back the memories we had. thus preventin me to study. but at home, i still cant study..n the first ppr is in less than 18 hrs.

so yest try to study late at nite, arnd 12-1..but i cant. so i switch on the tv. n was i lucky. i was juz in time to watch my all-time idol.TAUFIK HIDAYAT!! he was goin to play agnst Lin Dan for the gold medal in men's singles. while watchin the match all my problems disappeared. i was enjoyin myself, watching taufik winnin every point. despite the controversy betw him and Lin dan, he still play the match veri well. in the end, he wins the gold medal!!!! wen he won, i was like jumpin from my bed lar. was veri damn hapi tt he win. tt was the most happiest moment since last week. but i noe that type of happiness doesnt last veri long. den was too tired to study, so went to sleep.

seems like im updatin abt my eating habits daily huh. for today, i still cannt finish my rice. mayb i ate too much yest. after talkin to my cuzin, i feel a bit better n my appetite improve drastically. i ate quite a lot as compared to the past few days. but my 'no appetite' hav return..


till nxt time..mayb later if i cant study....
its stoopid idiotic sofie signin off at 3.45pm... :(